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Monday, November 9, 2009

SUBLIMINAL SEXUALITY - A Psycho-Over-Analysis pt.2, By Dr. Wertham P. Fredrics

Hello! Once again our guest is Dr. Wertham P. Fredrics, despised Comics Code Authoritarian Society member and anti-comic book crusader. Aside from that, and his reputation, he seems to be a pretty nice guy, and we have been chatting about hidden sexual symbolism in comic books. Even though Dr. Fredrics claims that comics are bad for you, I think he secretly loves them...I mean, he looks at enough of them.

We begin part 2 of our conversation with the Doc where we left off earlier (click to see pt. 1).
-click on images to see full size-

DR. WERTHAM P. FREDRICS: "Okay, let's go! Show me another shlide!"
THE APOCOLYTE: "Okay, remember these aren't slides, they're comic books! Here's the stack of Atlas MISS AMERICA comic magazines we were going through before you passed out!"
"Look, I had ze jet lag, okay? Now, let's take a look at zose comics...zo, you think zese old comics for little girls are shveet und wholesome? HA! People was still schtupping each other back in the 40's und 50's, lemme tell you, dey just vasn't tellin' everybody about it like zey do nowadays (tsk, shameful!)...ze point is, everybody vanted ze sex, but nobody could say nuttin' about it! So we have all zese old 40's und 50's comic covers filled mit sexual symbolism, whether put there consciously or subconsciously. It's easy to schpot it once you get ze hang of it! Heh heh...ze craziest ting about repression und supression is zat no matter how hard you try to control or supress sometink, it alvays has a vay of getting out some other vay anyvay! Ain't zat ze truth!"
"Alright's the next cover. Enlighten us, won't you?"
"Zat's vot I'm here for, you strange person know you got ze shmoke coming from out your eyeballs?"
"It's a hereditary thing, Doc...just continue the comic psychoanalysis, if you please, hmm?" 
"Yah, yah..."

"Alright! Before continuing let me lay a little 'symbolism groundvork'  -  'Wertham's Law' no. 1: Remember in zese old sexually repressed covers zat any physical contact represents ze sexual act of intimacy!  Yah, it's true! Holdink hands means more than chust holdink hands! Holding hands is merely ze 'pre-text', und full-on sex acts were really ze 'sub-text'! Got it? Try to keep up mit me here, now! Alright! Look at zis cute couple, aren't zey sweet? No! Zey are filthy little teenagers who have just been shleeping together! First, look at ze body language -are zey touching? Yah! Zey are intimate mit one another, he selfishly und possesively pulls her as close as possible, und she put up no resistance. In fact, she leans in closer and offers her flowers to her lover. Now look at ze dirty smiles on their faces! Vhat do you think zey are shmiling about, homevork? Sheesh! Now a bit deeper...a young woman's most precious commodity in zose times vas her virginity, und historically shpeaking, both young girls und the maidenhead symbolically have often been referred to as ze 'flowers', yah? Now look at vhat der man is doing! She has offered him multiple opportunities, und he has reshponded as programmed. Yah, he has taken her virginity, und she is happy about it! In fact, it looks as if he hadn't done it for her, she was prepared to do some 'plucking' herself! Yah, hmm?"
"Wow, those dirty little tramps! I think you called it on that one, Doc!"
"Humpphh! Of course I 'called it'! Vhat do you think I do for a livink, anyvay? Next shlide!"

"Yah, here's anudder naughty couple, flaunting their filthy, dirty sex right in front of ze whole vorld!"
"Gosh, Doc! I don't see it this time!"
"Ach! Open your eyes, man! You cannot go through ze life wearing ze blinders! Mein Gott! Look, I told you, everything back then vas hidden, und in zis cover zey are conveniently telling us (ha! zey are screaming at us!) zat zey are hiding something from us! On ze other covers they didn't admit there was any sex, but here, zey are playing ze game mit us! Vhat is going on behind zat verdamt umbrella?! Look at zere faces, yah? Zey sure look happy, real happy...a little too happy! Yah! Und of course zey look happy, zey are doing ze nasty sex act while you just sit zere und vatch! Yah, zey are sick! Now, let me tell you anudder one of 'Wertham's Laws' -  Any time that both ze hand(s) und ze genitalia are obscured at ze same time, you know there is some filthy, nasty, naughty touching going on that you can't see, jah! Here's anudder key to interpreting symbolism  -- any long, cylindrical, or phallic-shaped object represents der man's dingley-dongler, yah! It's true! Und zis dirty tramp has got both hands working on zat baby, ha! It kind of reminds me of a time vhen I vas younger und more flexible, und -"
"Yyyyyeah, ...okay...that last bit was just too much information! Next slide - er, I mean comic!"

"Zis comic vas for young girls? Really? Are you kiddink me? No vonder zere are so many nasty, fithy, dirty shluts in ze vorld, ja?"
"Whoa, Doc! That really isn't very nice!"
"Hey, I calls 'em likes I sees 'em! Zzo, let me ask you - vhat do you think is going on in zis cover, hmmm?"
"Okay...a couple are at the beach, and they are playful...she is writing on his back...thats it..."
"Ha! Wow, you really are clueless, yah? At ze beach, you say? Do you see any sand? Any water? Any sunshine? Hmm? NO!! You live in a dreamworld! Lala la la la!...Now, shut up, sit back und listen to a professional psycho-analizer now! Zis is vhat is really going on here: Ahem...Ze couple are in a dark bedroom where zey chust finish having ze filthy, nasty, illicit sex; ze white bikini top is really ze brassierre, und she shtarts to get dressed. Now, let's focus on zis little trollop for ze moment..."
"I can't quite make out the name she's writing...I think her name is 'Venerea'..."
"It doesn't matter, for now ve call her 'ze shlut'...Vhile her lovers back is turned, gazing with a smoldering intensity, she looks us right in ze eye, with ze most seductive smiling face imaginable, all ze while professing her love for zis poor Bill fellow! Ha! She is a two-timing little floozy! Zat sleazy good-time girl doesn't know ze meaning of ze vord 'love', or 'faithful'! Ahem,,,now, I vanted to mention ze lipshtick...also a phallic symbol, in this setting it also symbolizes ze 'painted up' whore, Jah?... ze nasty dirty woman. You see, back zen ze wholesome young girls did not vear all ze make-up, oh no, but only ze tramps und proshtitutes, jah? Like your momma, hmm?"
"Doc! That was mean!...hmmm...Mom did wear a lot of make-up..."
"Lastly, let us look at ze naked young man. Yah, naked! Do you see any clothes on him? No! Und if you look at ze shpace between his arm und his chest, vhat do you see? Do you know vhat zat lumpy, flesh colored, potato-looking thing is? I do! I have got a lumpy, flesh colored, potato-looking thing chust like it   --  in my pants! Yah!"
"Wow, Doc...I don't know much about potatoes, but...Hey, yeah, really! She's flirting with us right behind her boyfriend's back, Doc! But do you want to know what the worst thing about her writing 'Bill, I love you' all over his back is?"
"Yah, vhat?"
"His name is Joe!"
"Ha! Yah, zat's probably true! Haha! Now you're getting ze hang of it! Next comic!"

"Ah, yes, zis comic portrays some slightly varied themes of control, or lack thereof, und sexual inadequacy, as well as down right naughtiness!...on ze surface ve see two nerds, one urges ze other to kiss ze girl, jah?  Now do you vant to hear ze real subtext, vhat is really goink on?"
"Break it down for us, Doc!"
"Ahem!...Ze man und woman on ze right both look expectantly at ze man on ze left. Ze man on ze right offers ze female to ze other man."
"Offers her for what?"
"For vhat do you think?! Sex! It is clear zat he already has had ze sex mit her! Look...look at ze man on ze right, his hand in his pocket, jah? Vhat's zat shticking out? His thumb, you say? Yyyyah, his thumb, but quite a very phallic lookink thumb...zo, ze man, his phallus exposed as it would be after der schtupping, offers ze naughty shlut (see ze lipshtick?) to his buddy for ze sex, but for many reasons his buddy is afraid of ze woman. He feels weak und inadequate (possibly a latent homzexual), und as such is unable to perform...perhaps he feels his 'thumb' is too small for her, jah? Now ve look at ze wholesome young girl...ach! I mean ze sleazy tramp! She is loving every moment of attention, as it gives her control over zese men. Vhat is zat she is holding in her hands, hmm? Caressing zem, playing with zem, fondling zem, controlling zem? Oh, surprise, it's a pair of balls! Next shlide!"

"Oh,yeah! Here's another fun looking one!"
"Hmmm...egads!...pure schmut, fithy, dirty schmut! Symbolically, zey are having ze sex - ze icky, dirty, naughty, nasty ol' sex - now here are some details: Zis is not ze first time zey have had sex (see, he has one of her 'plucked' flowers already in his lapel), und with zere faces pressed close zey shtare intently into one anudders eyes as one, co-mingling as one in ze coupling of the symbolic 'sexual soda', und finally it comes down to a matter of ze control. Who has it, und who doesn't? As the man gazes at his lovers lips, pursed und sucking at ze straw of his desires, she has merely to touch his hand softly to cause a frothy, vhite, creamy mixture to erupt all over his side of ze 'sexual soda'! Whoooopsie!"
"Haha! Yeah! 'Sorry, darling, that never happened to me before...'! Ha! Who gets to sleep in that spot, I wonder? That's great commentary, Doc! I can totally see it!"

"Alright, ze theme here is one of supposed sexual expectation und feelings of inadequacy. Zis man is clearly overwhelmed when he sees his date, und he realizes zat he will be unable to satisfy her sexually. As pictured here, ze woman seems to be amused or laughing at ze pathetic little man as she comes to the conclusion zat he has little to offer her...look at her eyes, zey are focused on...vhat? Ze corsage in her date's hands? No, rather ze small package in her dates trousers."
"Wow. That's harsh, Doc."
"Vell, he iss only about 10 inches tall!"
"Yeah, in order to satisfy her he'd really have to get totally into it!"
"...get...totally into...Ha! Zat is a goood one!! Jah, I had to think about zat for a second! Hee hee!"

"Now zis cover also explores ze similar theme of sexual inadequacy, as well as infidelity. Ah, how fickle zese young womens can be, jah? Here ve see symbolically vhy 70 million couples get divorced every single year...Okay, see ze young couple on ze left, jah?  Everyting is going shmooth, or so it seems. Suddenly, Mr. Bulgey-Body shows up mit his phermones und his schwollen body tissues, und like a cat to catnip ze female springs out from between her old lovers legs (see placement of her feet), und is instantly all hands on zis new fella. As she turns her back on her old lover, even ze color of her bikini appears as a kind of 'mood-ring' symbolizing her changing und two-faced attitude. Now if we recall 'Werthams Rule of Touch' ve know zat  she has chust jumped into ze sack mit muscle boy. Vhile all zis takes place, her shkinny man can only look on in veak, cuckolded submission, his hands criss-crossed over his crotch to hide his apparently inadequate manhood. Ze muscle-bound lummox's bulge, on the other hand, apparently vas so distracting zey had to cover it up mit a verbage-filled blurb. Actually, if you notice the word in black type 'Featuring'(same color as his trunks) juts out at precisely the right area of the anatomy to represent his wing-wang-doodle!"
"Hey, Doc? Weenie boy is holding a box...what's in the box? Aaawww....what's in the box? No! Aaww! What's in the box? Hey! What's inna box, huh? Watsinnabox?"
"You know, if you are attempting a pop culture joke referencing ze movie 'SE7EN', shtarring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, und Kevin Shpacey, it is lost on me...I never saw ze movie and zo I vouldn't know vhat you are talking about, und zo even though zat is a famous scene, I've never even heard of it before!"
"oh...too bad...coulda been funny..."
"Next shlide!"

"Vell, now! Zis is chust sick, sick, sick! Nasty little comic book! Bad! Bad!! Vhat can I say about zis one? Look mit your own eyes und apply all ze rules of symbolism zat we have discussed."
"We have disgust?"
"Yah, und now ve are discussing how disgusting discussing zis disgusting t'ing is! Disgusting!"
"Never mind...let's chust quickly psychoanalyze zis morally depraved comic book cover. Very similar in theme to ze previous two covers, here ve have ze rejected man, und ze woman is embracing ze new object of her affection, ze famous Mr. Ed!"
"Haha! I liked that one, Doc!"
"Jah? Thank you...I'll be here all veek! heh heh...anyvay, her back turned avay from her old lover who looks on in confused helplessness, she leans in und nuzzles her new lovers' face vhile sensuously caressing his cheek. Meanvhile, ze bridle on ze horses veiny face frames und creates ze image of an erect phallus, resting in her hand! Ze whole time she is brazenly staring into the reader's eyes mit a defiant look of unrepentant, unbridled horsie-lust! Heh heh...I can remember seeing a similar look one time vhen I vas visiting Tiajuana, und -"
"Hey, Doc! Here's what I see: As Mr. Ed is nibbling on Wilbur's wife's ear, he looks up and say's, (in his Mister Ed voice) 'Three's a crowd, Wilbur! Take your tiny human ding-dong and get lost! Whiiinnniiee! Snort!'"
"Hmmm, jah! You know, you are sick too...chust like zis depraved comic book...zis dirty, nasty comic book...zis obscene little comic book is destroying ze fabric of our morality...zis icky, naughty, well drawn little comic...zis sleazy little comic only tittilates ze masses, und shtimulates ze sensual impulses, jah...mmmyeah...zis awful, nasty, sexy, attractive little comic...zis...arousing little comic...oooh...hmmmmmmm..............ahem...can I borrow zis comic book?...for chust a little vhile?"
"Sorry, Doc! I don't like comics with sticky pages!"

We have to end PART 2 right here, but join us next time, won't you?
We have a lot more comics we want the Doc's valuable professional opinion on, hope you can make it for PART 3 !


  1. That last cover is priceless... the shapes 'hidden' in the face of the Horse are just... (ahem) BULGING out !

  2. "Ach! You're right! Heehee! Ah, yes! It's all zere hidden in plain sight!
    You have ze eye for finding ze schmut, jah? Ve can alvays use anudder schmut shpotter at ze Comics Code Authoritariuan Society!" - Dr. Wertham Fredrics

  3. Doctor, thank heavens you are on the job, spotting this smut! I think it goes without saying that whenever you have horses and women on the same cover, you have trouble with a capital T! And when you have two men on the cover with a women, well, the implications are obvious. Never give up the fight against this sort of very stimulating trash! One quick question, though, since I have your ear. I keep seeing trains! Always trains speeding toward tunnels. -- Mykal