After an inadvertant hiatus, we now continue with our ongoing Battle Of The Bad Costumes!
I can't wait to see what happens this time!
Remember, I need your help! Vote NOW!
In this corner, our first combatant comes from the suggestion of reader BEMaven! Look on in wonderment, while the Red Bee as depicted by the great Lou Fine on HIT Comics #1, 1940 strides out of the locker room! The Red Bee comes to the ring wearing his original red and yellow costume, complete with horizontal striped spandex tights, a red burglar mask, and foofy, poofy, sheer gossamer sleeves.
His challenger, the Black Condor, as depicted by another Golden Age great, Gil Fox, from CRACK Comics #22, 1942, sports an augmented swimming trunk type outfit, with purple booties, purple 'wings/cape' attached to both wrists, purple belted swim trunks, and lastly his bare chest is covered (barely) by a diagonal strap, and a purple dickie...ahem...not going there...
Please help me decide which super costume is the absolute worst, by voting via leaving a comment!
I can't do this without your help!
So far you've helped me decide which costume is more atrocious, B'wana Beast or the Golden Age Unknown Soldier (to be revealed soon)!
Now, gentlemen, I want a clean fight...when you hear the bell, I want you both to come out...swishing?
Let the battle BEGIN!
DING!
As an extra bonus, I am including each hero's respective origin story, from HIT #1 and CRACK #1.
Please vote for the worst costume only, not the story! Thank you!
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From HIT COMICS #1, 1940
Story by Toni Blum(?), art by Charles Nicholas(?)
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From CRACK COMICS #1, 1940
Story by Will Eisner, art by Lou Fine
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It seems these two heros experienced wardrobe updates from issue to issue, so for no reason, I will also display some bonus imagery from various covers.
Here the Red Bee trades his striped tights for solid red.
Art by Lou Fine.
The very next issue, he is wearing solid yellow tights!
Art by Lou Fine.
Check out the girlish gams on the Black Condor!
Art by Gil Fox.
Art by Gil Fox.
Art by Gil Fox.
Keep those legs crossed...please!
Or buy some long pants!
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Did you vote yet?
Please vote by leaving a comment!
(PS - If you know of any other hideous costumed heros, won't you let me know, like BEMaven did?
Your suggestion may be the next bout! Together we can determine the worst superhero wardrobe ever!)
Thank you!
RED BEE worse than a B'wana Beest. Them thar floofy-ass sandwich bags on his arms tipped him into a Championship bout with (?), when all your DINGS ! become a giant Death-Match DONG~!
ReplyDeleteThe earliest costume of the Red Bee is unequivocally worse than that of the Black Condor. I think that the later costumes of the Red Bee are better than that of the Black Condor.
ReplyDeleteThe purple dickie alone makes this a no contest. The Black Condor wins, no question.
ReplyDeleteThe Red Bee's gorgeous gossamer sleeves remind me of this Lady Lovely Locks nightgown I had when I was little. Therefore, the Red Bee has the worst costume -- no respectable superhero costume should resemble little girls' nightwear!
ReplyDeleteWow, tough call. Both would make me snort laughing, even if they had come to save me. With the Bee, the sleeves are the problem, of course. Sheer, puffy fabric is just bad fashion sense for a superhero. With Condor, showing that much flesh only worked for Tarzan. Particularily when said superhero seems so proud, in panel after panel, of his trim, lithe figure. God God, why was he drawn that way? I have to go with Black Condor. Again, as with contest #1 - the combination of short-shorts and calf-high shiny boots is a mistake if you wish to project a sense of masculine power. -- Mykal
ReplyDeleteLysdexicuss,
ReplyDeleteLaughing so hard at your comment (actually every comment you make) that I convulsed and passed an Eggo waffle through my nasal cavity...and I wasn't even eating waffles at the time. Thanks for votin'...ya got any syrup?
Oeconomist,
Daniel, I must admit I have to lean that way as well. The Red Bee's solid red or yellow tights are a marked improvement over the original striped 'David Lee Roth' spandex tights! Thanks for voting!
Gilligan,
Gotcha! Sometimes having a purple dickie is a good thing, but in this case, ...nnnooooo!! Keep that thing away! Thanks for rockin' the vote!
Jacque,
Haha! Lady Lovely Locks nightgown! I'll bet when you were little you had no idea that instead of going to sleep, you could have been out punching gangsters instead! I thank you for your vote, my dear!
Mykal,
Ha! With Red Bee, perhaps he has gossamer sleeves to protect his arms from the cold and rain..."Hmmm, should I go sleeveless today, or just wear 'fake' sleeves? Fake sleeves it is!"
I wonder if Black Condor was the earliest hero with such...androgynous looks? Besides his booties and panties, I have to question his idea of his cape/wings. From reading his origin, it is clear he did not need any special apparatus in order to fly, so the idea of hanging an unnecessary length of purple fabric from each wrist is just swishy-ness for swishy-ness' sake! Your vote has been logged, and is much appreciated!
I have a fondness for Black Condor from his "Freedom Fighter" days, so I'm probably biased, but I've gotta go with Red Bee for worst costume. The striped pantyhose are bad enough, but that blouse -- looking like Joan Crawford's negligee crossed with the Seinfeld "Pirate shirt" -- would make even Liberace stop and say, "I don't know, it seems a little over the top."
ReplyDeleteAt least the power fits, though. "You put that gun down, or I'll have my bees give you such a sting..."
If it's any consolation, though, Black Condor wins the "Ugliest Baby" contest hands down.
You already know where I would cast my vote.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to admit that my opinion is tainted by personal bias. The Red Bee was my father's favorite comic book hero, inspiring him to take up a similar crimebusting path after leaving college.
This proved more difficult than comic book suggested. Because of their absurdly short life span, those worker bees selected as sidekicks for Dad would drop dead before completing their training. Through perseverance, he finally found one bee capable of absorbing the lessons in half the usual time. Dad affectionately dubbed the little bugger Nigel.
Mercifully, my father had better clothes sense than his paper counterpart. He settled on a red hood and union suit, painted with black horizontal stripes.
For their debut as crusaders, Father and Nigel tried to round up the Ochre gang, a trio of hooligans who were vandalizing the neighborhood by flinging gobs of sick yellow paint from cans.
Regrettably, the confrontation took place in a florist shop. Nigel completely forgot about stinging and harassing the enemy as he happily flitted about the bouquets. The criminals took this opportunity to beat my father senseless with their empty paint cans.
Nigel expressed guilt over this glaring lapse of duty by hovering around his master's hospital bed during a two week convalescence. I've no doubt it was pivotal in speeding up Father's recovery. The moment he was able to walk again, the first thing Father did was to step on Nigel.
Subsequently, my Dad burned all his comic books and took up a new career as an exterminator.
David
ReplyDeleteand
BEMaven,
I can't stop laughing!!
David,
I think you may be on to something with that 'Ugliest Baby' crack! Lou Fine was an amazing artist, but don't ask him to do a portrait of a baby! Especially since he's dead...
BEMaven,
What a touching and heart-felt tale! Funny as hell! Absolutely awesome!
I thank you both for your witty and uproarius insights!
ha ha! I know the pose isn't really the costume but i vote for Black Condor for the sheer YIKES!-worthy outstretched toe-thrusts he makes a point of doing on every cover.
ReplyDeleteThe horror of the Red Bee's costume is matched only be the idiocy of his name.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Steven G. Willis
XOWComics.com