MALARKEY AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH!
FAKE PRESIDENT CONTINUES TO DESTROY OUR CIVILIZATION WHILE PRESS TAKE TIK-TOK SELFIES
|Illustration by Gary Locke
Yes, the only way to secure 'Democracy' is by cheating, lying, and malarkey.
"We proudly stole the election", crowed a propped-up wheezing sarcophagus with breast implants and one claw raised in the air in defiance. "It's called a 'WRAP-UP SMEAR', where we talk out our ass and you in the Press eat it up like candy...heheh ha..." Her pruned features contorted in a mockery of a smile, as the corrupt pickled elitist walking corpse with hair and dentures continued to giggle to herself with a wheezing rasp. "It is for the good of the American people that we control and manipulate them like sheep, you know." Her features grew dark and she pointed her twisted and arthritic claw and howled, "How dare you ask a real question! I am a good Catholic! Excuse me, but I have ice cream melting!"
The writhing hand waved uncontrollably now, as she hobbled off camera with the aid of hidden wires and a ceiling joist rig. The crowd parted like the Red Sea, and Nasty Peloser made her royal promenade through the halls of the building, and as she passed the Press (who were by now 10 -12 feet below her looking upwards, as she continued to float and rise majestically above the smelly, sweaty peons and the plebians who made her work so difficult) would fawn and genuflect and say things like, "Orange bad, orange bad" and "dangerous to our Democracy" and other nonsense words that sounded good at the moment.